What Part of Of Don't You Understand?

The no part.

Anxiety Management

Stop reading about anxiety management.

Turn Right

As if that would help.

Hold Tight

What was I thinking?

Breathe in

Or die.

Don't bug me

Without court order.

Dead End

What else is new?

What's Up?

Not for long.

Larger Context

I can't get this on anymore.

Serenity

What size?

Existence Precedes Essence

Isn't it pretty to think so?

Two for One

Ask first next time.

Sink or Swim

Stop kidding yourself.

Nobody Does It Better

For Christ's sake.

Slippery When Wet

There's a lot of anger there.

Good Fences Make Good Neighbors

If you're a thief.

Pull Down Thy Vanity

Just don't fuck me over any more.

I Break for Animals

In theory.

Don't Bite the Hand that Feeds You

Stabbing in the back is much more effective.

Lot Full

And more on the way.

The Price Is Right

Just not your price.

Lightening Never Strikes the Same Place Twice

But it's going after you, buddy.

There's a Sucker Born Every Minute

Is just the kind of line suckers fall for.

Don't Fence Me In

I'd rather do it myself.

Under Construction

As opposed to what.

Take My Wife

Just don't tell me that joke again.

Live and Learn

You're not from around here are you?

All's Well that Ends Well

If you set aside the trauma.

No Pets without Leash

I gave at the office.

I Want a Thinkership not a Readership

Good luck.

"Man overboard!"

As if that was news.

I Used To Be a Plastic Bottle

Would be a good title for a poem.